So it’s uh…been a while.

And by a while I mean almost two months…my bad. I was really hoping that wouldn’t happen, but hey…here I am.

There aren’t too many things that have happened between then and now. So I feel no need to look back and go over them. But here is one thing you may or may not have known: IT’S HOLIDAY TIME!!!

Yeah, I know, it’s a little early for all that, but you have no idea how excited I am. I heart Christmas and all it’s cheerful splendor. It puts me in a better mood, and it makes me feel are warm & fuzzy-like. Thanksgiving is right around the corner, but that’s not too exciting to me. We’ll probably go to the crazy house and spend it there. But whatever. This isn’t going to be some long holiday-themed post, just a ‘I-didn’t-fall-off-the-face-of-the-world’ post. There will be more tomorrow…because tonight I realllly reallly need to clean my house.

And that’s that.

A lucky (wo) Man…

So…here I am.

It’s been a little while since I last updated, but quite a few things have happened since the last post so let me take it step by step:

Dayton’s first tooth popped up!! (YAY)
Dustin started school. (YESSS)
I started exercising. (CRAZY)
I also started getting way more sick (stomach) than usual. This led me to go to a doctor once more…and then find out some kinda scary stuff. Which is why I’m at home right now instead of work.
So the doctor confirmed that I am lactose intolerant, and not only that but I’m also fructose intolerant (didn’t even know that was possible). AND I have IBS (Irritable Bowel Syndrome…in case you really needed to know that). NOT ONLY THAT but he took some blood samples to send to the lab to check for the adult onset of diabetes. MAJOR MAJOR MAJOR not-coolness right there. I’m prone to it because it’s in my family and my diet suckssss. But not anymoe! Read the lovely list of foods I CAN’T HAVE…
Apples, pears, watermelon, grapes, raisins, any citric fruits, any fruit paste (including BBQ-sauce) any fruit juice, soda (diet included), onions, wheat (this includes bread, pasta, most noodles, biscuits, pancakes/waffles, cake, cereal, pies…oh and PIZZA…NOTHING WITH HIGH FRUCTOSE CORN SYRUP in it. So basically everything that processed almost.
Freaking. Wonderful.
I. Need. A. Drink.
And I don’t care if the fruity stuff is a no-no. A few shots and a tasty fruity drink sound about right. Even on a Tuesday night. Hmmph.
So guess what?
THAT’S THAT.

And of course…

When I finally have a moment for myself, to chill out and write an entry as my heart so desires, I can’t think of a damn thing to talk about!

So, unfortunately…I have no back-up post.

 

And that’s that.

So I’m 22. It’s that time of year again…

Oh yes. What year of mine would be complete without a ‘birthday resolution’? It seems that I have completely given up on new years’ resolutions, and instead, I have went to the alternative. Every year I get older, I decide to do something new. Something different, just a little change. In fact one year (I think when I turned 18) I decided to start writing my 7’s & Z’s with lines through them, to be cool. And imagine that, I still do that ’til this day. When I was 9 I decided I was going to go on a ‘PB&J diet’. Funny, because I did not eat another peanut butter & jelly sandwich until I was almost 11. One year (when I turned 15) I decided to lose a few pounds, because I was really starting to feel conscious about how I looked. I lost almost 20lbs, and went down almost 2 dress sizes.
This year I plan on revamping this idea, that for some reason has stuck with me since I can remember.
This year I’ve got a couple of things I wanna do…One’s for me, one’s for everyone else.
First thing’s first: I wanna get back in shape. Not just lose weight. I want to tone up. I want to feel healthier, and feel like I won’t have a bazillion health problems later on down the road. I’m tired of people making feel like crap because of the way I eat. I know (mostly) they care about me, but it does get rather annoying to hear someone ask everyday when I’m going to start eating better. I hate it when people get in my business like that, but that’s another day and another post.
Now comes the second thing: readjusting my focus in life. As it stands right now, my main concerns are my son (which will never change, not that it should), doing well at work, and and…and….well that’s it. See? I stress out because of work, so it makes me irritable. Dealing with a teething 9month old can make someone very irritable. So…I’m irritable. A lot.
I really want to change that. I know that I’m going to have to think outside the box on this one…because I honestly don’t know where to start. I’d like to start really letting myself think about wedding plans…but with the way things are going right now…I no longer want to. I’d like to stop feeling bad for trying to focus on myself every now and then…but I have someone who is more important than anything else in the world to think about, and he certainly comes before anything I want or need. I’d like to do something to help people out, somehow…but I really don’t have the time, and if you don’t have the time, you have to have the money…which I REALLY don’t have. I’d like to figure out what I want to do with my life…but it’s like I’m stuck. I’m stuck at my job because I love my ‘family’ at work, even though I feel underpaid. I’m stuck possibly not being able to go to school because I was such a damn slacker once I moved back down here for college. I’m stuck being angry all the time at people who get things that I feel like I deserve, it drives me nuts. I’m stuck being half sorry for myself that I have to deal with all the bullshit I deal with, and half disappointed in myself for complaining about it in the first place. I’m stuck trying to remember how to be myself, not just a mom, not just a friend, not just a ‘girlfriend’. I’m just fucking stuck. (Which may or may not be why I keep getting all these books to immerse myself in, to get away from everything in my life for a little while at a time.)
Help?

Ugh I suck.

I’m sorry I haven’t been posting like a good little girl. I’ve been really wrapped up in trying to find a babysitter for my son…and I’ve had a really crappy time doing so. I won’t get into that so early in the morning, but tomorrow I will have a post because it will be my birthday! HOORAY!
And that’s that.

So ahaha. We’ve set the date (even during a migraine).

After a week-long arguement about the eventual nuptials coming our way, Dustin and I have actually set the date. So, I will no longer be Jerri Lynn Butler. On 12/11/09 I will be Jerri Lynn Collins. That is ridiculously weird to say…er, write. So now my many days of planning are going to go somewhere! Woot.

In other news, I hate migraines. A LOT. I’m thinking when I get them, they’re stress-related. Maybe because Dayton keeps waking up like 2-3 times in the middle of the night, just because. So I missed work because @ 6am I had to wake up to a screaming 8 1/2 month-old, sun pouring in and burning my eyes…therefore worsening my migraine.

Sick of that lady.

For real. I am so damn tired of hearing about Sarah Palin. Maybe it’s just because I’m a Democrat and I take it as a bit of a slap in the face that the Republican party would ’so suddenly’ pick a woman as a last resort to win against Obama & Biden. Seriously? I bet that a lot of Republican males would have been like ‘Aw, hell naw, I ain’t votin’ for a woman’, if Hillary won the Democratic nomination. But since they’re using one as a tool, if you will, to win the White House, it’s all gravy. Um, I think NOT.
But that’s all I’m really going to say on that issue. I get very heated about politics. I can’t help it, I just feel very strongly that our country has been going in the wrong direction the past eight years, and now it’s time for a difference (I’m sooo tired of hearing the word ‘change’ too.)

So in other news…Brenna & I are dragging the baby with us to go visit my family in MD & WV. This will be going on not this weekend, but the weekend afterward. So I’m excited about that! Anyway, more on that another time. I gotta go return some dvds!!

Momentary Lapse of Internet. (or) Welcome to my pre-wedding hell.

Yeah, the title pretty much explains it. We’re trying to fix Dustin’s Grandaddy’s computer, but it looks like we may just keep it afterall, and transfer what’s on our laptop to the desktop (I hate laptops).

And ontop of that, I’ve been spending my internet time on wedding sites, and looking up all things related to the ‘big day’. Now you may be asking ‘why?’, so let me just put this as gently as possible.

I. have. no. freaking. idea.

I mean in all honesty, Dustin is about as interested in even SPEAKING about the wedding as I am about having to take 15 minutes to fully cleanse my face after a shower. You know you have to do it, but damn, it sucks to have to do it.

Yeah, so you can imagine his utter thrill when I casually gave him an ultimatum one night. By the end of September, we WILL have a date set for our wedding, whether you feel like we can afford one by that time, or not. But guys, it’s not about the money (we don’t have any, but I’ll be damned if I get married in a courthouse in front of two witnesses after being with this man for almost six years)…it’s the fact that he’s not excited about the prospect of marrying me. Oh sure, he says he is (always in the most exhausted sounding tone) but am I really supposed to believe that? He literally rolls his eyes at me anytime I bring up anything matrimonial-related. I bet a lot of you are thinking ‘what normal red-blooded American man would be excited about getting hitched anyway?’ Well my answer is this: he was. He used to be happy to talk about our future, the eventual move-in to our own place <check>, the proposal <check>, the freedom <check>, the starting of our family <cheeeeck> the wedding……<crickets>

THE WEDDING. Oh yeah, believe it or not we would both ponder what getting married would be like. And I’m afraid that now that he knows what it will be like (like it is now, only me having his last name)…he’s not all gung-ho.

Now I don’t want to get all into our relationship because A.) It’s a private thing. & B.) No one reads blogs about people’s relationships with their fiance’s.

But let me just say one more thing. The other day, my best friend and I went to Michael’s to check out some wedding-like stuff, get some ideas (we’re very crafty, Brenna & I). Her Mom even showed us where the clearance wedding items were, and BY GOD I found EIGHTY wedding invitations for $20. And yes, they are cute & yes, they are my colors. So you probably guess I was very giddy about this. Yeaaaah that didn’t last long. I tell Dustin about my findings and he’s just like ‘Yeah, cool.’ YEAH COOL!? WTF??? Are ya serious? Oh yes. He was. You bet your pants I was heated.

Well, I get home, with cute & cheap invitations in tow, and am prepared to show him the goods once we settle down inside. I hand them to him with a smile on my face and give him the whole ‘Well I was going to look into the invitations that were around $100 for 100, but I found these, and they are so cute & cheap, etc etc!’ He takes them, gives them the look-over, then gives me this face of ‘Umm…’ The conversation goes something like this;

‘So…what do you think?’ -Me
‘Um…I dunno. What’s so great about these?’ -Him
‘They’re cheap & I liked them?’ -Me
‘Oh, well…the color is kinda ugly.’ -Him
‘…..it’s one of our wedding colors.’ -Me (trying not to cry)
‘Sorry. Don’t put the date up there yet. We haven’t set one.’ -Him (watching t.v.)
‘I’m aware of that…so…you don’t want to talk about this do you?’ -Me (really ready to punch his lights out for his sheer nonclalance about everything.)
‘Nah, not really. It’s too late, I’m tired.’ Him- (apparently tired but still not going to bed.)
‘Fine, WTF-ever.’ -Me (goign to bed angry as hell)

So as you may be able to tell already, this is a fight. The big fight, and I’m afraid it’s only going to get much worse. Which is why I secretly hate myself for getting my hopes up when looking at wedding sites, dresses, decor…I keep thinking in the back of my head it just ain’t happening.

My son, the big boy.

Crazy as it sounds, Dayton is already 8 months old. I swear it was just yesterday I was pushing his huge head out of my vagina. Too graphic? Don’t have kids then.

Now he is crawling (or his version of it). He’s sitting up and reaching for things above his head. He’s pulling himself to a stance from sitting, and then lowering himself back to the floor to sit.

He’s going to be a toddler before I know it.

But I’m not actually sad. I’m very excited that he’s getting so big. I feel like I’m a pro at this being a mom thing.

Emailing with old biddys in nursing homes. Or why you shouldn’t mention brownies in an office email

We work. We really do. But sometimes you have to relax, hence the random re: re: re: re: work emails that I am my coworkers participate in every now and then. Just take a look:
Read from bottom to top if you want to understand the whole thing.
With full footnotes.

From: Jessica
Sent: Tuesday, August 19, 2008 3:11 PM
To: Jerri Butler
Cc: Brenna
Subject: RE:

When you write a book this whole email must go in it.

In the mean time blog it

lol

_____________________________________________
From: Jerri Butler
Sent: Tuesday, August 19, 2008 3:08 PM
To: Jessica
Cc: Brenna
Subject: RE:

Yeah. But she won’t be able to find the, because I will be stuffing them in my mouth, and when she tries to find them (because you know she’ll be blind) I’ll be blissfully unaware that those are what she’s looking for because I’ll be deaf. Hahahaha.

_____________________________________________
From: Jessica
Sent: Tuesday, August 19, 2008 3:01 PM
To: Brenna ; Jerri Butler
Subject: RE:

I can see it now, you wondering around in the nursing home looking for brownies
(((((Brenns & I talk about being in the nursing homes A LOT. We’ve practically already registered for our SSI & Jazzies.)))))))
_____________________________________________
From: Brenna
Sent: Tuesday, August 19, 2008 2:59 PM
To: Jerri Butler
Cc: Jessica
Subject: RE:

Yea jordan got mad at me earlier because I asked him like 3 times if he went to petsmart yet and he kept telling me no, then he thought I was subtly trying to bitch at him to go and I was like I seriously don’t remember if you told me…….. Old folk home here I come!!!!

_____________________________________________
From: Jerri Butler
Sent: Tuesday, August 19, 2008 2:58 PM
To: Brenna
Cc: Jessica
Subject: RE:

TOO BAD I said ‘Vanilla Extract & Cologne. Then added in Slurpee.’

Yeah you’re memory is like whoooaaaaaa.
Not that I can say too much. Haha

_____________________________________________
From: Brenna
Sent: Tuesday, August 19, 2008 2:56 PM
To: Jerri Butler; Jessica
Subject: RE:

Ohhh dang I forgot about that roofus!! (lol) we were in the elevator and she goes omg it smells like vanilla and suggar cookies with a hint of calonge (or something to that effect) we came out crackin up!
((((((At first I thought it read ‘calzones’. Which as you may know, smells NOTHING like cologne. But I digress))))))
_____________________________________________
From: Jerri Butler
Sent: Tuesday, August 19, 2008 2:54 PM
To: Jessica
Cc: Brenna
Subject: RE:

Ya’ll are too funny. You’re on a diet, so you don’t have any brownies. And Brenna wouldn’t have been able to sneak brownies past me since her car is small, and I would’ve immediately smelled them. ‘And a pinch of lemon!’. Yeah. So maybe not so much.

_____________________________________________
From: Jessica
Sent: Tuesday, August 19, 2008 2:51 PM
To: Jerri ; Brenna
Subject: RE:

Maybe I have the brownies!

_____________________________________________
From: Jerri
Sent: Tuesday, August 19, 2008 2:50 PM
To: Brenna
Cc: Jessica
Subject: RE:

Yeah. Too bad it all started because you said you wanted some chocolate. Maybe if not, I would believe you.
Meows.

_____________________________________________
From: Brenna
Sent: Tuesday, August 19, 2008 2:49 PM
To: Jerri
Cc: Jessica
Subject: RE:

You cant resist us……. Especially since I really could be a tramp and have brownies in my desk back here……..
((((Brownies were brought up earlier in the day…Brenna made some the other night and we were all hankering …okay I was hankering for some. Shuddup.)))))
_____________________________________________
From: Jerri
Sent: Tuesday, August 19, 2008 2:48 PM
To: Brenna
Cc: Jessica
Subject: RE:

Ya damn right. What now b? What now?
I’m just going to stop communicating all together to you two and see how you like them apples!

Hoes.

_____________________________________________
From: Brenna
Sent: Tuesday, August 19, 2008 2:46 PM
To: Jessica ; Jerri
Subject: RE:

Yea shes fussin now aint she
((((I saw the email pop up while on the phone with someone, and I had to wait until I was done to even say anything.)))))
_____________________________________________
From: Jessica
Sent: Tuesday, August 19, 2008 2:42 PM
To: Brenna ; Jerri
Subject: RE:

You could hear her lol

_____________________________________________
From: Brenna
Sent: Tuesday, August 19, 2008 2:41 PM
To: Jessica ; Jerri
Subject: RE:

Is that what ol Jerr was in there fussing about? Hahah
(((She says this because I have notoriously bad hearing. So even though she’s in a seperate office, she can still hear me.))))
_____________________________________________
From: Jessica
Sent: Tuesday, August 19, 2008 2:40 PM
To: Brenna ; Jerri
Subject: RE:

It was Jerri, she told me about it earlier but I thought she said the first name was some ghetto name like Lakisha lol MY BAD

_____________________________________________
From: Brenna
Sent: Tuesday, August 19, 2008 2:39 PM
To: Jessica ; Jerri
Subject: RE:

I think I sent one to Jerri today. I deleted the rest (I think)

_____________________________________________
From: Jessica
Sent: Tuesday, August 19, 2008 2:37 PM
To: Brenna Hudson; Jerri
Subject: RE:

Did either one of you pick up the collections line, there was an old message from xxxxxxxxxxxxxx but theres no notes that anyone returned her call.

_____________________________________________
From: Brenna
Sent: Tuesday, August 19, 2008 2:36 PM
To: Jessica ; Jerri
Subject: RE:

Sounds about right

_____________________________________________
From: Jessica
Sent: Tuesday, August 19, 2008 2:35 PM
To: Brenna; Jerri
Subject:

La la la I’m so bored.